Here's Your Sign

I got a good laugh over lunch.

Doreen went to get the oil changed in my in-laws van this morning so we can take a quickie turn-a-round trip to North Carolina this weekend.

When she pulled up to the door, the guy walked out to her and asked, "Need an oil change." Her answer could have been, "No I just came to donate blood, or I just like to sit in front of your door and smell the oil, or nope - just hangin out." Of course she wanted to get the oil changed. Why else would she pull up to the door like that.

It's like when we were in Colorado standing in line for Lunch at Taco Bell. While waiting some 'friends' obviously bumped into each other in line and started talking. Eventually one person asked the other, "So you coming to Taco Bell for lunch today?" Uh - DUH! "No I'm standing in a long line in Taco Bell just cuz I feel like it. Uh, no, the voices in my head just told me to come stand in this spot at this time." He, he, he - you know sometimes to have 'noise' we ask some of the silliest questions.

Reminds me of the song by Bill Engvall & Travis Tritt called "Here's Your Sign." Here's the lyrics for you to read - hope it gives you a chuckle for your day! :)

I just hate stupid people They should just have to wear a sign that says "I'm Stupid!" That way you wouldn't rely on them, would yah? You wouldn't ask them anything, "Excuse me? Oh! Never mind, I didn't see your sign."

It's Like before my wife and I moved from Texas to California, our house was full of boxes, there's a U-Haul truck in our drive-way My friend comes over and asks,
"Hey, you movin?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week, just to see how many boxes it takes" Here's your sign

Travis Tritt:(chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

A couple of months ago, I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
his boat into the dock. I lifted this big ol' stringer of bass, this idiot on
the dock goes; "You catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked em into givin' up"
Here's Your Sign

I was out in the front yard, with my boy the other day and he was playing with his little friend, and he hit his friend, and I went up to him and said, "Hey! *smack* We don't hit" He looked at me like... "Here's your sign dad"

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

I was watching one of those animal shows on the discover channel There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. There's only one way to test that. "Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on. looks gooood. They want you to jump in this pool of sharks, and you tell us it hurts when they bite you" "Well Alright, hold my sign, I don't wanna lose it."

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

Last summer I was on my way home, I was driving around, I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into those side-of-the-road gas stations, the attendent walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear to god he went,"Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
I said "Nope, no- I was driving around and all of a sudden the other 3 just swelled right up on me" Here's Your Sign

Travis Tritt: (chorus)

Why can't they get the picture
Why don't they understand
We're not dealing with the planet of apes
We're talkin' 'bout the modern man
So you people with them itsy, bitsy, tinsy, wentsy, tiny minds
People with them little bitty, teny, weeny, tiny minds
Here's Your Sign

Bill Engvall:

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago, guy comes over to the house, drove the car round for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe. He goes, "Damn that's hot!"
See if he'd been wearing a sign, I could have stopped him.