Sunday, July 30, 2006

Early or Later

Doreen and I stayed up to 4:30a this morning talking after watching a movie. Oy, I'm a bit tired - and I got to drive to Kenosha, WI this afternoon. Oy!!!

Yesterday, when we were having some conversations with friends, someone mentioned that they're thankful to have had kids 'early' in their marriage - so when they're 40 something, their kids will be adults.

Obviously, Doreen and I started the kid thing 'later' in our marriage. So we'll be 50 something when they're adults.

So - the conversation turned to which is better? Kids early or later?

Well, Doreen and I determined that in our opinion, for us, later is better. I mean, we had 7 years before kids (BK) to just be ourselves with freedom from all the responsibility that kids bring. We got to thinking about 'those' who have kids early and plan to enjoy that 'freedom from all the responsibility' after kids (AK) may not quite have the 'freedom' we did BK. I've heard a number of 'elders' in and around my life say that even though the kids are moved out and gone, they still have all those emotional ties to what is happening with their kids and may even have to help out from time to time - so they don't truly have the "freedom" we did during our 7 years BK freedom.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts! BK or AK! :)
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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

We think that the later is better. Of course that is what we did not necessarily by choice but we had 7 years before kids and don't regret it at all. You are right about the ties and help after kids. We wouldn't have been able to do a lot of what we did if we had had kids early. Love Dad and Mom

9:17 AM
Anonymous said...

I don't recall giving it that much thought BK. At times we struggle with finances and sometime think that we wouldn't have this problem had we had kids later, but then I sit back and evaluate the situation and come to the conclusion that that would NOT hold true as Scott and I both like things. So, early - late, it's all the same to me.

9:01 PM
Roseuvsharon said...

we couldn't decide, so we did it both ways. We waited a few years (only 4) before having Michael. Then it was another 6 years until Matthew was born and 17 months later Greta.

So, we'll have one adult in our 40's, and 2 adults in our 50's. We'll have the best of both worlds!

9:18 PM
Trailady said...

Interesting post!

You guys were still pretty young when you had kids- in your 20's right?

There are advantages/disadvantages to both options! There's no best way to go about it since every circumstance is different.

We had kids right away- not so much by choice- first one came by surprise and thereafter we wanted to space them approx. 2 yrs apart. Physically a woman bounces back better and has more energy to deal with the demands of children when she's younger. Fertility rates are higher & birth defects are lower when women are younger. Fertility rates decrease from age 26 on. We do have goals set for after the kids fly the coop that we will still be young enough to enjoy at 45. :o)

Financially, I think it's usually better to wait. I do wish I had more time with my husband before we had kids. (I've always had to share him.) Mature people may have more patience with kid nonsense. Course they can also be more set in their ways...

9:49 PM

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